Giving a toast in a pub must be as hallowed a tradition as the pub itself. Moon River Brewing Company's traditional Friday night toast was started in the 1990's by a few regulars, who were, at onset, basically toasting each other. Over time the toasts became more elaborate and discerning patrons began making special effort to be present by 6:00pm to be sure to hear, cheer, and drink the beer.
In a moment among thousands of moments of marketing wizardry, the management at Moon River Brewing knew when to latch on to a good thing. The concept was formalized, and the rules were laid out. Now all at the bar are presented with a sampler-sized sip, a complimentary cup of creamy carbonated confection, a bonus bowl of bubbling barley beverage, a gratis glass of golden grainy goodness, well, I could go on (and do)
and one brave patron takes the floor...
How to Give the Toast
Like all proper traditions, the toast has a specific format. Adherence to this format – while not mandatory – is strongly recommended, otherwise people may not realize that the toast has begun and thus mistake you for a loud-mouthed, inebriated tourist.
The Wind-Up
"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages…welcome one and all to Friday night at 6 o'clock, the time of the day, the day of the week where we here at Moon River Brewing Company like to pause and welcome the week's end. Greeting to all of our regulars, greetings to all of our irregulars."
The Pitch
Insert your toast here! The standard toast is a recap of some of the most interesting, newsworthy moments of the past week, but there are noted variants, including The Limerick, The Jigger of Smarts, The Special Occasion, The Lyric Poem and Culture Corner. Samples of these toasts are included below.
The Close
This is the time for any special announcements or to raise a glass to anyone who passed away during the week.
"Shut up and drink your beer!"
How to Give a Great Toast
A great toast depends on two simple variables: brevity and volume. To keep the rabble enraptured, you must project your words. But even sufficient volume won't keep the murmuring masses mutely mannered. Short and sweet, make your punchlines punch, and wrap it up. You've got about one minute of strangers' attention, two minutes of your closest friends'.
This formula has yet to falter:
Line, Line, Joke!
Line, Line, Joke!
Line, Line, Joke!
Then,
“Shut up and drink your beer!”
That's it. Swallow your fear and/or pride, and get up there. A free T-shirt may not be enough of an enticement, but consider postponing laundry day through the weekend!
Classic Toasts
Standard intro (see above)…
This is a very unique toast – our great friends Gene, John, Pattie, Jill and Ed are on a wonderful trip to the great city of Denver, Colorado to experience in all its glory the Great American Beer Festival! Through the marvels of modern technology *hold up cell phone*…on the count of three, let's give them a good Moon RIver "HEY" 1…2…3 HEY!!
We wish them the best and safe travels and expect many great stories upon their arrival.
On some spooky news right here at Moon River: if any of you are fans of the Sci-Fi channel show "Ghost Hunters," yes, they were filming here Tuesday night 'til 5:30 in the morning! Chris from Moon River was their host for the night and might share their findings with you, if you ask nicely.
That being said, have a great weekend! Now SHUT UP AND DRINK YOUR BEER!
